I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Do you have feelings for this penis?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize