she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
not ubering you a puppy
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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