is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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