a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize