first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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