I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You took a bar mat shot.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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