I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize