God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You ruined the universe
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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