I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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