I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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