Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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