Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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