why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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