with your own penis?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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