It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize