puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize