it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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