he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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