I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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