the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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