By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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