i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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