I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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