Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize