What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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