I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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