she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize