Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
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I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
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Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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