Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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