Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize