someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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