She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize