hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize