First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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