they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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