That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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