I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize