I think my vagina is haunted
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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