I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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