You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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