I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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