Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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