Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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