alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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