I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
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the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
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Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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