Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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