Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize