she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize