This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
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You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
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Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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