Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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