chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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